Mothering with a Burdened Heart

I have the absolute best job in the entire world.

 I am a wife and a mommy, and I get to stay home with my babies to train them and love them.  There is nothing about this calling that I dislike.  But I will be completely honest.  Sometimes, we have challenging days.  I would like to say that my challenges come because I lived quietly alone for 12 years before marriage and babies, and now suddenly, within 4 years, I am living with 5 other (very loud) people.  But that scenario is still true on days that I don't feel as challenged, but instead completely fulfilled and joyful in my heart.

When I really consider this, I do see the real issue.  It is the condition of my heart.  If things in my heart aren't right, mothering seems like an impossible task sometimes.  It may be a battle I am fighting in my spirit that no one realizes is raging inside of me.  Maybe I brought it upon myself through thoughtless actions, or maybe it was hurled into my life completely unexpected.  Maybe I was made aware of a situation in the life of a friend that absolutely broke my heart.  But it is there, reminding me all day long of the hurt and burden that I am carrying.  And it makes patience and gentleness one of my greatest struggles.

I'm still learning how to deal with myself on these days, and be the same mommy to my littles whether I am on the mountain top or in the deepest valley.  To smile the same welcoming smile when hubby gets home from working hard all day, whether my day was beautiful and fun or I fought back tears every step of the way.

But more importantly than dealing with my own self, I am learning to lean on the only One that can take whatever burden I am carrying and make it His own.  He can give peace when the battle seems impossible to fight.  And He can give victory, when the battle seems lost.  My kiddos and I have been discussing faith, and what it means.  In trying to explain real faith in a way that a toddler can comprehend, I have learned more than I ever expected.  And watching faith grow and be displayed in the character of a child is a beautiful thing.

So, I've challenged myself to be more like my kids :).  The next storm that comes, I'm gonna beg the Lord to let me play in the rain.  When fears threaten my joy, I'm gonna grab my Saviour's hand, and walk real close to Him, and I might even ask Him to carry me.   If I fall down, I'm gonna run and show Him my wounds, ask Him to kiss them, and then run back to my task, singing and laughing, as if I never got hurt at all.  And I really, really want to love everyone I come in contact with, as if my heart doesn't know how to do anything different.  Who wants to join me?!?  Our life is but a vapor. Let's not waste it.


Iris