The Silent Storm

Have you ever gone through a battle, a spiritual battle, that was so intense, it left you feeling like the person you once were is only a memory and this new person is a complete stranger to you? What if the physical circumstances that threw you into this storm, were completely out of your control, and so private in nature you couldn't confide in one single person for even prayer and comfort in knowing you weren't alone? Or maybe you tried to pour out the turmoil inside, but the hearer couldn't truly hear the cries of your heart, and you were deeply misunderstood, only adding to the pain that was already too heavy to bear?


What do you do, friend? What do you do when life feels more like a death of your heart?


That is where I have been. These months have worn out my spirit to the point I have retreated into deep silence. Unable to speak of anything with significance to anyone, for fear my heart would betray me, and pour itself out for everyone to see. Unable to write. Almost unable to love.


But isn't the love of God amazing? Isn't He so kind and gentle, in how He touches those tender wounds, and slowly binds them up, one by one?


My load has been heavy, friends. Too heavy for me. Just when I thought there was no hope, that no one would hear my silent cries, and I was left to walk through this awful battle alone, look at the love He poured into my soul:

" Ye shall not respect persons in judgment; but ye shall hear the small as well as the great; ye shall not be afraid of the face of man; for the judgment is God's: and the cause that is too hard for you, bring it unto me, and I will hear it." Deuteronomy 1:17


{He hears the cries of my heart.}

" And the LORD, He it is that doth go before thee; He will be with thee, He will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed." Deuteronomy 31:8

"The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms: and He shall thrust out the enemy from before thee; and shall say, Destroy them." Deuteronomy 33:27

"With a strong hand, and with a stretched out arm: for His mercy endureth for ever." Psalm 136:12

"In the day when I cried Thou answeredst me, and strengthenedst me with strength in my soul." Psalm 138:3


Suddenly, His sufficient Grace is so real. Suddenly, I am no longer alone. Suddenly, I don't need to be heard, because the only One that matters has already heard :). And suddenly, I am ok. My heart that I thought was surely damaged beyond repair, feels Life again. He is quickening my spirit once again.  As long as I have Him, I can face today. And the next. And the next.


I praise Him for never letting me lose my joy, through all of my dark days. He kept smiles and giggles in my home and in my heart, through it all. He is GOOD. So good.


If you don't mind sharing, what are verses He has given you, during the darkest trials of your life? His Word is life. HE is Life :). Let us never forget that.


Note: If you know me, outside of this blog, the details and circumstances leading to this trial, are not something I wish to discuss. Prayer is sufficient. HE is sufficient.