Monday, March 16, 2015

Please DON'T Ask!!!

Ok. Disclaimer: I am WAY more private than most females. So, the following opinions are totally based on my own level of comfort. But, I also believe need to be said ;).

Please, please STOP asking people if they are pregnant!!!!! That may sound rude to you, and I understand that {most} people are just excited about a new life and want to celebrate with the expecting mama. But here are just a FEW of the reasons it may not be a good idea to ask:

She wants to have a baby so badly, but for some reason, it hasn't happened yet.

Seriously, y'all. This is probably my biggest reason I don't think you should ever ask a woman if she is expecting! It could be that wife wants a baby, but husband doesn't. She doesn't need added questions from you, while she is battling not to resent her husband in her heart. Or maybe she and husband BOTH want a baby. But they are in the waiting period, and not sure if it will happen for them or not. Imagine Hannah in the Bible. Her heart was constantly hurting and yearning for God to open her womb. Women today have those same desires and those same hurts. Just because YOU aren't aware of her struggle, doesn't mean it isn't there. She doesn't need a reminder of how badly she is waiting on God to answer her pleas. PLEASE don't be a hurtful reminder to her!!

She is struggling with weight gain, or with losing weight from previous births.

I don't lose baby weight quickly. I try, but it seems to just stick to my midsection, like a permanent reminder that it is NOT going away. Please don't draw attention to it ;). And DEFINITELY don't pat my pudgy tummy if you still can't help but ask if I'm pregnant! Seriously :/.

Maybe she IS pregnant, but she and hubby aren't ready to announce it yet.

SO many times, we've had to rush and try to call or text family members to tell them about a new baby because someone asked before we'd told anyone, and they could definitely read my silent but obvious facial expression. Consider that we had probably hoped to tell our families in a special way, but missed out on that opportunity because we had to rush to tell before they found out from someone else and got hurt feelings they didn't know first. If the mama wanted you to know, she would have already told you! Or she would have announced it in some semi public way that you would have known about.

Honestly, I don't fault anyone for being excited about babies. And people have asked me before in ways that I was NOT offended. So, it isn't always bad. But my suggestion is to play it safe, and practice patience. You WILL find out, if she is really is expecting a baby ;). But it will be on her time schedule.

Tell me. Am I being too harsh?


  1. I wrote a comment, but I guess it didn't get posted because I had to sign in. So, I'll try to remember what I said before. lol
    I totally agree with you and don't think you are being too harsh. I was bugged about being pregnant once (when I was and it was really early and we didn't want to tell anyone yet). It was a couple of teenage girls at a church we were attending at the time; they then got offended when I complained that they were being pushy and it was turned back on me for not wanted to share the blessing. Oh well. :)
    I also have a problem losing weight, so it's kind of insulting when I'm asked if I'm pregnant and they look pointedly at my waistline.
    While we love our children and welcome any that God gives us, it's kind of annoying to have people ask if we're pregnant just because our baby is a few months old.
    Another question that bugs me is if we are going to have any more. I have 12, why would I stop now? lol

    1. Haha! We are SO much alike!!! Yes, I have a few family members that start asking every single time our youngest is 2 or 3 months old, "so, isn't it about time for you to be pregnant again?" Lol. I get so frustrated, and I haven't come up with a graceful response yet ;)