Tuesday, December 16, 2014

She Let Herself Go

I stood in line at the thrift store (yes, I know. I love it there), when I heard two young girls talking behind me...
"She used to take such good care of herself.  Now that she's married, she just kind of let herself go.  Wonder why people do that when they get married and have kids?" "Yeah, I don't know.  It's like they just don't care anymore."

My heart twisted a little.  I stood there, uncomfortable, knowing those girls could have easily been talking about me.  I also was sure a few people could have said similar words about me.  And I hurt inside.  Because I used to think the same thing about other girls.  "Wonder why they don't 'stay pretty' for their husband?" was a thought I'd had often.  How rude.  Because now I know better.  All those wives and moms HAD let themselves go.  But not in the ways I imagined.  As I drove home, I thought about what I could have told those girls about their sweet friend.  It might have went something like.....

How wonderful for your friend!  Being a wife is so fun, and being a mommy brings such joy.  And she must be very good at both if she has let herself go, like you say.

It may seem she doesn't care anymore, but she must truly care so much more than you think.

Because, you see, the time she used to spend getting her beauty sleep, she now lets herself go sooth bad dreams, clean soiled sheets, and lovingly tuck her babies back in, so they will feel cozy and safe.

Maybe she used to get up to shower and get fixed up for the day, but she now lets herself go make coffee and breakfast for a husband who has a long day of hard work ahead.

She used to shop for the latest fashions? Oh, but she now lets herself go shop for shoes for rapidly growing little feet, checks sizes to make sure all little bodies will be warm for the winter, and washes clothes from a never ending pile of laundry, so everyone will be clean and dry.

The time spent working on her tan, she now lets herself go stand with a husband she wishes she could spend more time with, in hopes she can be a help to the project he is working on.

She did used to go to the gym, but she now lets herself go help split, stack, and bring in wood so her family will be warm.

Yes, I know her skin has suffered.  But, she lets herself go make sippy cups and sandwiches, and forgets to drink water for herself.

The time she spent on her nails, she now lets herself go dig in the dirt with her bare hands to find worms with excited little faces, in awe that there are things living in their favorite digging spots.

Oh, how she used to love to read and learn.  Now, she lets herself go into a world of imagination books, and teaches instead.

Her quiet time she so cherished, she now lets herself go with the flow of endless chatter and giggles.

She has let herself go.  But, don't feel badly for her, because I know if you asked her, she'd say every single moment is more than worth it to her.  And, don't be too hard on her either.  While you beautiful girls go about the rest of your day, the hope will cross her heart that she will still be beautiful to a husband she loves more than life.

That is what I could have told them.  But, just like I would have never understood before, they can't understand now.  How do you really explain the joy and contentment of being a wife and mommy?  How do you explain that what looks challenging from the outside, is actually quite fulfilling and lovely in every way possible?  Hopefully, they'll get to find out for themselves soon :).


  1. Thank you for writing this, I really needed to hear it today! You are a great writer. ❤

    I am stopping by from Instagram. I will be following your blog on bloglovin when I get to my computer.

  2. Oh! So glad it was encouraging :). I love the pics of your little boy on instagram :)!!